Monday, February 14, 2011

To celebrate or not to celebrate

redparrottulipOkay, so I forgot to tell my husband Happy Valentine’s Day this morning. Guess I’ll remember tonight. To be fair, he didn’t remember, either.

Does that mean the passion in our marriage has faded? No. I don’t think it has, other than that natural tendency for a couple’s dating and newlywed time to be spark-filled before it settles into something more comfortable, more real. The sparks time is nice. It’s necessary to have that in order to get through the get-to-know-each-other phase that would likely never last, otherwise. Let’s face it: learning to deal with someone’s eccentricities and annoying habits needs something to help balance that. Would anyone be married otherwise?

Sure, we get fizzles. We’ve had the “do I really want to spend the rest of what feels like a VERY long life with you???” phases. Ah well, that’s part of the deal.

I watched Eat, Pray, Love a couple of nights ago, and while I rolled my eyes at the thought that she couldn’t even wait for her divorce to go through before hooking up again, and that most of her thoughts of how she would be happy revolved around being in a relationship, still, it’s a little hard to deny the truth of it.

We are built to need a relationship, an Other who helps fulfill and balance us. Maybe that’s why romance is always the best-selling book genre. And why, even in horrors, mysteries, and thrillers, there is always a love story in there somewhere, and often a main plot point of the story.

When do you last read a book or watch a movie that didn’t involve some type of romance? (No, I do not mean sex. That is not the same thing.) That illusive and invisible bond is undeniable. We want it. We need it. Why not celebrate it?

Of course, forgetting Valentine’s Day is just a thing. Maybe it means we’re comfortable enough after twenty-three years to realize we don’t need the flowers, chocolates, and platitudes. We’re both still here. Together. Fighting through the fizzles and celebrating getting through them and still being here.

I will tell him Happy Valentine’s Day tonight, though. After all, the little fun things matter, too.

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Oh, another thought that kept returning while watching Eat, Pray, Love is that it felt much like my first novel, Finishing Touches (from 2003). That I’ve been hurt and not sure I can try again, especially when I don’t know who I am thing. Yep, same kind of story. Different characters. Different settings (mine never travels farther than Peoria to Chicago). Same idea. Less marketing power.
*sigh*

Interested in seeing if I’m right?  Finishing Touches is at
Smashwords for only $2.45. If you have a bit of patience and want to wait for the newly loaded (in process) story that’s set several years before Finishing Touches, called Growing Season, there’s a coupon to get the novel for $1.45 instead, through the end of February. The short story is a free read, very short. And sweet. (Formerly published at LASR, June 2009)

Finishing Touches is also in print. Find more info on my
website, under My Books (original, isn’t it?). And don’t forget to check out my new consolidated Reviews page! I have more to add, but it’s a start.

PLUS, go see how
this blogger compared me to Nicholas Sparks! 
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Happy Valentine’s Day!
(and don’t tell my husband I said it to you first)


3 comments:

Celia Yeary said...

Loraine--We're at the point in our marraige that an appointed day doesn't mean much. I attended a women's brunch--"Heart to Heart"--and the table decorations included Dove chocolate hearts wrapped in red foil scattered down the middle. I took two home to my dh. His response? "Are both of these for me?" Yes.I'm telling you, it takes little to make him happy--and I realized--I'm the same way. Something small and unexpected means more to me. Celia

liana laverentz said...

Happy Valentine's Day, Loraine! I still get my son a small heart full of chocolates every year and leave it on his pillow for when he comes home from school. It's the only day of the year I'll buy him candy--he gets so much of it everywhere else!

Andra M. said...

I love the chocolate heart idea, Liana! Do you mind if I steal it?

After 19 years of marriage, neither my husband or myself needs a sanctioned day to celebrate (or express) how much we love each other.